Silver Violins - One ShotsScenes
by The Lost Symphony
Summary: Extra scenes for SV that I wanted to share since I gave up SV.
1. Parabatai

I rose the cup of tea to my lips as Tessa opened her mouth to say something.

"Do you have a _parabatai_, Helena? With Jessamine, perhaps?"

I almost choked on my tea. Will burst into a fit of laughter as I set my cup down and brought a napkin to my mouth."

"No."I answered."Even if I did, Jessamine would definitely not be of any help."

Tessa's mouth formed an _o._

"If Helena depended on Jessamine, she would most likely be ashes by now." Will agreed.

"Why is that you go and fight, Helena, but Jessamine doesn't?" Tessa questioned again.

"I only go to fight when I am really needed. If something needs to be done requiring more than just Will and Jem, I will go without question. Jessamine, though, isn't even trained. The only thing she could do if she was in danger would be getting a few blows in with her parasol."


	2. Confession

I stood in Jems doorway, tears threatening my eyes.

"Helena? Are you okay? I haven't seen you since last night." He put down his violin and slowly walked toward me.

I shut the door and looked at him,"Jem... it's...I..." I twisted piece of hair. "It's just... last night...it was the _worst _I've ever seen you."

He grabbed my hands away from my hair,"Lena, but I'm fine."

I looked down as tears fell from my eyes,"Jem...it's hard...,"my voice caught in my throat,"not knowing how much time you have left with the person you love." I quickly grabbed the door handle ready to run out.

"Helena." He quickly whispered and grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the room.

"I'm sorry, Jem, you have Tessa. I shouldn't have-"

"Will has Tessa, I will always have you." He said, lifting my chin up and kissing my lips.

He pulled away and looked down,"And if you were wondering Will didn't put me up to this _either._"

Heat rose up in my cheeks as I remember our first kiss in the training room when we were fourteen.

I smiled up at him as he pulled me closer and kissed me again. I welcomed it this time and kissed him back. I shrugged off my dress cover. He touched my arms and led me to the bed.

I let out a breath as I laid myself down on Jems black satin sheets, a sweet burnt scent rising around me. He crawled on top of me and I glanced up at him. I took a breath and lifted my head up to kiss him. His lips tasted like sweet chocolate from tonights dinner and something else unknown to me. He kissed back and placed his hands on my hips.

Suddenly he drew his lips away and removed his hands from my hips.

"What is wrong?" I quickly asked.

"Is this right? Is it fine that I touch you like this...?" He asked with a nervous hitch in his voice.

I blushed,"I had no objections, Jem." I answered.

His hands went back to my hips and he kissed me again. His hands slid up to my breasts, groping them through the soft fabric of my nightgown. I moaned softly against his mouth as he slowly lifted up my gown.

"Jem." I whispered as I covered my breasts with my arms.

"You're beautiful." He reasurred me, kissing my neck.

I lifted his shirt off of him,"Have you done this before?" I asked, the heat rising between us.

"No." He whispered. "I didn't want to be like Will and spend the night with someone meaningless.

A small smile creeped up on my face and I wrapped my arms around him to kiss him. He rubbed my legs and I wrapped them around him, a pleasant excitement building up as he lowered his trousers.

"Jem. Do it." I whispered.

I let out a small gasp as he thrusted inside me, soon pain was replaced by pleasure. I moaned as quickened his pace.

"Helena,"Jem whispered, leaning his forehead against mine my dark hair intertwining with his silver.

Jems fingers intertwined with mine as I let out a low moan as I felt myself climax, Jem soon following.

Jem laid flat on top of me, sweat sticking to our bodies. He placed a small kiss on my lips,"_Wo ai ni_, Helena." He whispered in Chinese.

I closed my eyes," I love you, too, Jem."


	3. Letters

_Dear Helena Chevalier,_

We regret to inform you of your father's death_. On the first of this month your father was found dead in the nursery of his house in Idris. We were not certain of your whereabouts until we read the letter he left to you(see attached). A funeral pyre will be held for your father on the last day of this month._

_Our deepest regrets._

_My dear Helena,_

_I hope these past three years in London have treated you well. I regret not being the father to you I should have been. I miss your mother terribly and fear this is the only way I can see her again. I hope you find the love your dear mother and I had so long ago. Everything I have left is being left to you, even the house in Paris, if you choose to keep it._

_It would be completely understandable if you are not saddened by my passing. But I would like you to know that I regret that I will not ever see you fall in love, be engaged or wear gold on your wedding day._

_ALC_

His signature was smeared with blood. I looked up from the letters to see everybody staring at me.

"Helena, what were the letters about?" Charlotte asked from the end seat.

"My father is dead." I answered quietly


	4. extra- Tessa describing Helena

"So is this the _warlock _girl I've heard so much about since I've been gone?" A girl about my age said. She was possibly an inch taller than Charlotte, even that not being much. Her dark brown hair was in loose curls around her shoulders and her green eyes stared at me down from the short distance between us. Comparing her to Jessamine, she was of a slighter darker beauty with her olive skin tone.


	5. Silly

"Oh, well Helena, I saw you were busy at the brothel last night." Will said with a mouthful of toast.

I sipped my tea and played along,"Oh yes, very busy indeed. This poor fellow just got turned down on a wedding proposal, he was absolutely heartbroken."

Tessa looked at us in awkward shock.

"They go on like this sometimes." Jem said.

"I see." Will continued.

"Yes. I meant to tell you, but your favorite, oh what is her name? Sarah? Caroline? The curly haired ginger? Anyway, she just found out that she somehow acquired syphilis. Poor thing, she said she was clean as a whistle before you came along."

I heard Tessa choke on her tea and Jem spit out his food in a napkin.


	6. Automatons

I jumped up from the bed as an automaton crashed through my door with spinning claws. From the sounds in the hallway the others were in the same situation. The automaton came forward destroying the mantel of my fireplace and chair beside it.

I cursed myself for not keeping large weapons in my room as I threw the small side table at it. It swung the table into the wall, shattering it.

Muttering a few unladylike words, I lifted my skirts and jumped onto my bed and tugged at one of my bedposts. The post quickly broke and I lashed out at the machine multiple times before it back up. I thrust the broken side of the bed post into the automatons surely hallow chest. To my surprise it sputtered with smoke and fell backwards exploding with smoke and oil.

I wiped the oil from my cheeks and quickly loosened the piece of wood from the pile of scrap now on my floor. Running over to my wardrobe, I jerked the doors open and pulled out a medium sized hunting dagger. I took a deep breath and sprint to the door just long enough to see Tessa cornered between Jems door and mine.

Before lashing at the machine, I quickly grabbed her and shoved her into my room. This machine was slightly smaller and took less time to take down.

I watched the machine fall and I looked around at the mess of a hallway that was left. From Jems room another machine flew out and exploded.

Jem stumbled out covered in oil and glanced at me then at the bed post sticking out of the scraps of metal.

"I ran out of options." I said.

He handed me one the swords that he held. I nodded gratefully and took it.


	7. Scared

I walked into the hallway and saw Jem leaning against the wall between my room and his. The only sign of life coming from him was the fall and rise of his chest. I slowly walked over to him.

"Jem? Jem? What's the matter?" I held out a hand to touch his arm. He looked up at me through his silver hair. It seemed whatever color his eyes had was gone now.

"I don't know what's happening, Helena. I don't know if this is reality right now or just another nightmare."

I drew my hand back,"Nightmare? This is reality, James."

He shook his head,"It can't be."

I glanced around,"Where is Will?"

"Gone,"he answered simply.

"Gone where?"

"I don't know."

I stayed silent, unsure of what actions I should take now. I could go passed him to Wills room at the end of the hall and pray that he was there and not out galavanting the streets.

"You're dead, Helena."Jem said breaking the silence."You...and...Will...dead. Along with my parents."

Is this the aftermath of the drugs? I shook my head,"No...Jem, I'm alive." I walked over to him and touched his arm.

"You died, Helena. That...that _demon _...killed you. You are a ghost..."

I shook my head,"No." I touched his face hoping to break him out of this trance. "Look at me, James."

His eyes met mine.

"I'm here. This is real, James. I'm alive, Will is alive also."

Some color returned to his eyes, tears running down his face. He started to stand up straight, taking a few sharp breaths.

"Helena?" He said as if seeing me for the first time. "What-" He was cut off by a bout of bloody coughs.

I gasped as he fell forward. I caught him in my arms and dropped to my knees still holding him right. His hand wrapped tightly around my hand.

"J-Jem, what do I do?" Tears quickly filled my eyes as Jems blood smeared on the front of my light green dress.

He stayed quiet, except for his raspy breaths. His arms slowly wrapped around my waist. I held his head against my chest, holding him like a mother would a scared child.

I heard a door behind me open. Turning my head I saw Tessa standing there in confusion.

"T-Tessa? Go get someone! Go find Will!"I shouted at her, my voice cracking.

She quickly ran down the stairs. I heard her yelling for Charlotte and Sophie.

I buried my face in his silver hair, smelling a sweet burnt scent."Jem, everything is fine." I whispered, starting to rock him gently. "Everything is fine."

"Thank you, Helena." He slowly whispered.

"James!" Will and Charlottes voices yelled from behind me.

Will came and quickly kneeled beside Jem.

"What happened to him?"Will demanded.

I shook my head,"He was standing here in the hallway. He was delusional, I think, saying we had been killed. Then...then he collapsed."

Will muttered something under his breath then quickly picked Jem up, walking him to his room.

I stayed there on the floor of the hallway in silence as Charlotte and Will crowded in Jems room beside me.

"Miss?" I glanced up through tears to see Sophie looking down at me. "Your dress is covered in blood, I think it might be best to change now."

I nodded as she helped me up and followed me into my room. She took a rag and dabbed at my eyes to rid the tears.

"Should I get rid of the dress?"

I looked at myself in the mirror. Streaks of Jems blood smeared the front of it. "Yes..." She helped me out of the dress and I put myself in a nightgown.

She left the room with the dress.


	8. Picnic

Today was a particular sunny day in London, Charlotte got us all gathered and announced that we should go on a picnic in the park.

I got a fan to cool myself off then helped Charlotte gather a few blankets.

~!~

I sat on the blanket next to Jem,"Why aren't you tormenting the ducks with Will?" I asked.

He glanced over and chuckled,"He seems to be doing fine on his own."

I smiled and tore at a small finger sandwich in front of me,"You know, Jem, in the two years I've been here I've never heard you speak Chinese."

He stayed silent for a moment,"I've never heard you speak French either, except to maybe yell at Will."

"Well,"I thought for a moment,"If I tell you something in French, will you say something to me in Chinese?"

He smiled,"Of course."

I looked at him,"_Vous êtes comme un chevalier d'argent, avec vos cheveux d'argent et les yeux._"

"What did you say?"

"I thought French would have been one the languages you studied." I giggled.

"No, everything but that."

"Oh, well I said you are like a silver knight, with your silver hair and eyes."

"Ah,"he said with interest looking into the sun.

"It was the first thing that came to my head. It is not a bad thing, though. You have silver hair, it's very, very different. A good type of different,"I started babbling.

He smiled at me,"Nǐ yǒu bǐ fěicuì lǜsè de yǎnjīng."

I stopped babbling,"What did you say?"

"I said that your eyes are greener than jade."

I glanced away, a slight blush rising in my cheeks.


	9. Love

I knocked the sword out of Jems hand with a swift strike.

He let out a breath,"Helena, you have gotten better."

"Of course I have,"I laughed,"look at who has been practicing with me."

He smiled,"One more rou-,"his eyes got wide as he suddenly doubled over.

I dropped my sword,"Jem?!" I walked toward him.

He shook his head and coughed up blood. I saw him drop to his knees, splattering blood on the floor.

"Do I need to get your medicine, Jem?"

He didn't answer.

I choked back a scream as he fell to the side, retching up blood once more.

"Will?!" I heard myself scream as I opened the training room door.

I heard Will annoyingly answer me from a distance.

"It's Jem, Will!" I screamed and rushed back to Jem.

I turned him onto his back and laid his head on my lap.

"Lena..."he whispered.

I shook my head,"Shhh...Will is coming." I softly wiped the blood away from his pale lips.

Will burst in with Charlotte.

The next few minutes consister of Jem being rushed to his room and being given his medicine.

I felt my heart drop lower and lower with each of Jems coughs. The drug wasn't working...

Through Wills yelling I quickly turned and left.

I shut myself in my room and listened to the commotion next door.

It felt like my heart had just been ripped apart at the sight of Jem.

He's never gotten this bad...

The medicine should have helped...

Did we train too much...?

What if this is it? What if Jem dies?

The thought caused me to sink to my knees. I felt tears tears stream down my face.

I do not want this. I don't want him to die...

I should not feel this strongly about a friend...

A friend that...that I loved?

I shook my head and ripped the pins that Jem had gotten me my first birthday at the Institute out of my hair. What would I do if he died? The Institute would not be the same...

I slowly stood up, found the dress I had on before I changed to go train, and sat on the bed with the dress.

I cannot be here...

Sobs racked my body, tears staining the dress in front of me as the room next door quieted down.

The thought of what could have happened caused a small cry to escape my lips.

A few minutes later my door slowly opened and Charlotte peeked in.

"Char...Charlotte pl-please le-leave." I managed to squeak out.

"Helena, what is this?" She shut the doot and came beside me on the bed.

"I want...want to leave, Charlotte. I want to leave."

She looked at me sympathetically,"And where would you go?"

I covered my mouth as I felt a cry form on my lips,"I do not know."

She moved the dress,"There is no doubt this is about Jem."

I looked at her.

"One does not just simply cry over someone insignificant in their life." She wiped my tears with a handkerchief."These are tears of love."

"But Charlotte..."

"Helena, you are young. You can not help who you fall in love with."

I stayed quiet as the tears still slowly fell.

*"He is fine now. Well enough to ask for you."

My eyes widened,"Charlotte, I can not see him right now."

She nodded,"I will tell him that you were quite shaken by this and that you are gathering your thoughts."

"Thank you, Charlotte."

She smiled lightly,"It is close to lunch time. I will get Sophie to bring in some tea and sandwiches while you clean yourself up."

I nodded.

"Also, once he recovers I am sure we can arrange a few chaparoned outings."

"Oh!" I blushed through the dried tears."I..."

She chuckled,"It can be discussed at a later time."

I nodded again,"Of course."

She took leave and I sighed deeply, wiping the dried tears away.


	10. Proposal

_Jem's Proposal_

I walked into my room and loosened the pins from my head and let my hair fall down my neck and shoulders. I grabbed the rag from wash station and dipped it in the bowl of water Sophie had set out. Bringing the rag to my face, I dabbed the cool water on my face then set it back in the bowl.

I walked over to the window and glanced out to see Will and Jem conversing outside of the door. Will grinned and nodded at his _parabatai _as he walked back into the Institute, Jem with his silver hair followed him.

Sighing, I shut my curtains and laid on my bed, curling up in the lavendar colored sheets unleashing a scent mixture of cinnamon and vanilla. My mind drifted to last night with Jem.

_Is there a future for us, Helena? _Jems words echoed in my head.

I was sure my silence was taken in the wrong way. Thinking of the future always brought heartache and uncertainty, especially thinking about Jem. I was sure we were happy the way things were now, the occasional late night visit, a kiss in private, the quiet 'I love yous' before leaving for a mission or going off to bed.

Instead, he had placed a small kiss on my forehead and laid in the bed with me for a few silent moments before leaving the room.

A warm tear fell from the corner of my eye and landed on the blanket, leaving a small dark spot. He hadn't spoken to me at breakfast this morning or at dinner moments ago. I caught his eye, only to see him turn away to converse with Will.

My silence last night had ripped apart what connection we had, if you could call it that. I was sure of it.

I heard a knock at the door and quickly sat myself up, straightening my dress up, and walked to the door. I opened it and peeked outside.

My heart dropped slightly,"Oh. Hello, Sophie."

She smiled politely,"Good evening, I was just dropping off clean laundry."

"Oh," I stepped aside and let her in.

She came in and I saw she was holding a folded nightgown.

"Just leave that out. I was about to retire anyway."

She glanced at me and nodded, placing the gown on the bed. "Is everything going well with you and Master Jem?"

My eyes widened,"Me and-."

She smiled at me," Well miss, it's not my place to say, but the house has been full of tension since last night and everybody else in house has been quite happy...with the exception of you two, that is."

My mouth dropped,"Sophie, how-."

She let out a small laugh."I'm a maid, miss. If I did not notice these little things, I wouldn't be a very good maid. Plus, the entire house does know. They just choose not to say anything."

I felt my heart constrict," How...how long have...?"

Sophie looked away," Well, when one sees two people wander around in the middle of the night together entering a room, then one leaves quite...um..." she blushed.

"By the Angel," I collapsed onto the bed in shock. "You...you've known the entire time?"

My brain was scrambling in panic, this entire four months? I looked up at Sophie and she slowly nodded.

"_You _weren't the one to say anything..."

"Oh! Heavens no!" She waved her hands in front of her. "When Will knows something, he'll be sure to spread it around."

"_Will._ That...that..." I felt like taking my daggers out and sending one through his skull. "Is that why he makes all those remarks?"

"I would guess so."

Wills remarks had started a good month ago, making silly little comments about me being French.

I nodded, feeling bile rise in my throat.

"Before I leave, if you don't mind."

More information that she now cares to share? "Mind what?"

She glanced at the door," I think the reason no one has spoken of it, is that...they see how happy you two are and couldn't bear to tear it apart. Especially with Master Jems condition."

My hand rose to my mouth and tears invaded my eyes.

Sophie handed me a handkerchief from my nightstand,"Miss Helena... what you two _have _is stronger somehow than what I've seen between Mr. and Mrs. Branwell. I do not know what caused the shift in the relationship last night, but I think it would be good to talk to him. When you are not in the room or you leave, his eyes gleam true happiness. It is in your eyes also, it's hard to pass that up." She turned to the door.

I wiped my eyes,"Thank you, Sophie."

She turned and smiled then exited the room.

I stood up and walked over to my mirror and started unbuttoned the front of my dress to get ready for bed. My fingers settled on the last button as I heard footsteps outside my door. I quickly closed my dress as the door opened.

"Helena?" Jems soft voice emerged from the doorway.

I blinked,"Yes?"

He looked at me and closed the door,"What are you doing?"

I pursed my lips,"I was getting ready bed."

"Oh." He replied, simply, glancing around.

"Is...everything,"I walked over to him, taking his face in my hands and looking into his eyes,"Is everything alright, Jem?" My thumb brushed his cheek.

"Of course." He pulled my hand down and kissed me. "I needed to speak to you."

My heart dropped,"About...?"

He smiled, his silver eyes dancing. "I love you, Helena."

I smiled back."I would hope so, Jem. I love you, also."

His hands touched mine, then went to my face, his thumb gently brushed my lips and eyes. He tilted my face up,"I wanted to ask you something, Lena."

I looked away,"If it was about last night..."

"It isn't...well, it is..in a way..."

"Jem...I...I..." I started to explain.

"Helena." He reached into his pocket. "I need to ask you a question...about _our _future." His hand pulled out of his pocket, I caught a glipse of circular silver.

My heart stopped and I backed up and sat myself down on the bed. "Jem."

He came over to me,"Helena...will you marry me?"

I eyed the Carstairs family ring and shook my head in disbelief, tears quickly falling.

"J-Jem..." My voice caught in my throat.

He stroked my dark brown hair.

"Jem...Jem...why?"

"_Because _Helena... I _love _you. I need to say this, before you answer."

He clenched my hand to his chest,"Helena,"he started,"Whether my heart is beating slow on the verge of stopping or fast with all the blood pumping through it at once, it will always beat for you. Even when it stops...it will still be yours."

A cry escaped my lips as I glanced once more at the ring in his hand,"Yes Jem...yes." I cried, holding a shakey hand out.

He grinned, slipping the ring on my finger, and pulling me close. He pulled me up from the bed and placed a kiss on my lips.

"I love you, Jem, I love you. I truly do."

"I love you too, Helena."


	11. Dream

I stepped out of the bath water and looked at myself in the mirror. I brought my hand up to my chest and touched the spot where, in a little less than twenty four hours, Jem would be drawing the wedding union rune.

Smiling, I dried off and then went to the dresser where a jar of lavender scented body rested. Jem had brought me it earlier in the day and said it was a early wedding gift, stating that he knew lavender was both my favorite color and scent. I sighed happily and spread the cream over my arms and legs. Closing the jar, I placed it back on my dresser and slid on my nightgown.

There was a knock on the door and then Charlotte and Sophie walked into with a handful of hair clips and ribbons.

"What is all that for?"

"Your hair, of course."Charlotte answered.

"My hair?"

She nodded."The night before my wedding, I had my hair put up in ribbons in the style I was going to have it in the wedding. That way, when you let it down in the morning to rest your head, it'll be easier to put it back up."

"Oh." I touched my hair.

Charlotte led me to the vanity and sat me down. Sophie came over and set all of the hair supplies in front of me.

"How did you plan on having your hair tomorrow?

I looked at my golden wedding dress once more before I shut the wardrobe door.

I took a deep breath and crawled into my bed for the last time. After our honeymoon, we decided that I would move into his room in a way. Most of my things, except for my clothes, would stay where they are. Charlotte agreed that since our rooms were beside each other that living a few things wouldn't be a problem since the Institute had hundreds of other rooms.

We also decided that our honeymoon destination would be in a small English town outside of London. Charlotte surprised us when we couldn't decide where to go with a few nights in an old family mansion.

I heard a small knock at the door and looked over as it opened.

Jem walked in with something dangling from his hand.

"It's bad luck to see the bride on the day of the wedding." I told him smiling.

His silver eyes widened and he smiled,"Our wedding day doesn't begin for another five minutes."

"And do you plan to accomplish something within that five minutes? Because honestly James we know we'll both need more time."

He chuckled,"I actually wanted to give something to you." He opened his hand to show me the jade necklace. "It's...something for you to keep, since you have to give back the family ring after tomorrow."

I smiled,"Thank you, Jem."

He came over and placed it around my neck.

"I feel horrible for not giving you a wedding present in return, between this and the body cream."

He grinned,"You've given me more than enough."He answered kissing me lightly on the lips.

I heard the large clock in the hallway ring 12am.

"I'll see you in a few hours, then." He said.

I nodded as he opened the door,"I'll be wearing gold."

He smiled, leaving. I laid down and drifted into a dreamlike sleep/

_"Miss Helena. It's time to wake up."_

_I opened my eyes to solemn looking Sophie. I dragged myself out of the bed and Sophie loosened the pins out of my hair._

_"It is going to be a long day, Miss, a sad and long day."_

_I gave her an odd look,"Sad?"_

_She nodded,"Yes. Today is Master Jems...funeral."_

_"Funeral?" I gasped._

_"Yes. We had prepared your dress last night. It's in the wardrobe. Don't you remember?"_

_I quickly ran to the wardrobe and opened it. My lovely golden wedding dress was replaced with a long white gown._

_I felt my heart drop as my body dropped with it._

I awoke suddenly to Sophie shaking me. "Miss Helena, you were crying in your sleep."

I glanced at her then quickly toward the wardrobe where Charlotte was standing. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the wardrobe, flinging the doors open.

A wave of relief washed over my body as I saw the familiar gold of my wedding dress.

Charlotte looked at me oddly,"Helena?" She reached out toward me as I felt myself drop to my knees.

"Sophie? Could you go check on Jem, please?"

She nodded and quickly left.

Charlotte closed the wardrobe,"It sounded like you were having a nightmare."

I nodded,"I dreamt that my wedding dress was replaced with a white gown."

She helped me stand,"Oh."


	12. Cold Nights

"It's bloody freezing,"I said, poking at the fire place then standing so Sophie could help me out of my corsets.

"It is even worse outside. Would you like me to bring a second blanket in here for you and Master Jem?"

I nodded and quickly changed into my night gown to avoid the cold,"That would be lovely, Sophie."

She nodded and left the room.

I stayed by the fire for a moment before moving to the vanity to brush out my hair. A moment later Sophie returned with another blanket and spread out on the bed.

"Master Jem and Will just returned,"she told me.

I sat down the brush,"That's good. It's too cold for Will to be dragging Jem around London searching for demons. I think even demons have enough sense not to be out in the freezing weather."

"Maybe,"Sophie sighed before leaving.

I shivered and quickly crawled underneath the blankets. I curled up and waited for Jem to come to bed.

A few minutes later the bedroom door opened and Jem entered.

"You're finally back,"I turned over and smiled at him.

He gave me a quick smile,"Indeed I am. Oh! You started a fire, wonderful." he quickly stood in front of the fire and stripped out of his shoes and waist coat. Jem walked over to the bed and climbed in. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck,"Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, your hands are freezing." I told him.

"Oh, do they bother you?"

"Of course not,"I took his hand and intertwined our fingers, placing them around my waist as we both fell asleep.


	13. damn cat

I walked into the library in search of the papers Charlotte asked me to retrieve for her. When I reached one of the tables I heard a small growling coming from under the table.

Raising my eyebrow, I slowly grabbed the papers Charlotte wanted and backed up. There was a small dagger on the edge of the table and I grabbed it before sinking down to look underneath the table.

A pair of goldish-green eyes glared back at me.

"What's this?"I pushed a chair to the side.

The creature slowly came into the light and hissed at me.

I blinked and saw automatically that it was a cat,"Well hello there."

It hissed again and ran out trying to claw me.

"BY THE ANGEL!"I quickly backed away and distanced myself away from the cat.

It glared at me angrily.

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving."I told it backing toward the door.

Before I reached the door it opened and Jem walked in.

He looked at me and then at the cat,"Oh, Helena, I see you met Church."

I blinked,"Church?"

"The cat,"he smiled.

"Where did it come from?"

"I saved it the other night."


	14. Baby

Jem laid beside me on the bed and kissed my neck.

"James?"

"Yes, love?" He answered kissing my lips

"What do you think of children?"

"Children?"

"Yes."

"They're wonderful... I suppose... Why do you-, By the Angel, Helena. Are you pregnant?" He asked quickly, feeling my stomach.

"Jem! Of course not!"

"Oh." He took his hand away, sounded slightly disappointed.

"I was...hm... just thinking. Maybe we should have a child... or at least try."

He smiled lightly,"Helena."

I shook my head,"Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

"Lena." He stroked my cheek. "It's just..." His voice lowered ,"when I die..."

"James. Don't say that."

"I hate the thought of leaving you. Let alone, leaving you with a child that most likely will never be able to remember I was ever around."

"But, that child would be our legacy, I suppose."

He looked away, then looked at me and kissed me lightly on the forehead. "I suppose... it wouldn't hurt to _try._"

I smiled," Well, James." I pulled him down.

"I love you too, James." I whispered back running my fingers through his silver hair.

*4 months later*

I watched Jem from the bed as he took his 'medicine', taking a small spoon and scooping a small amount in his mouth.

"You are almost out." I whispered.

He slowly laid on the bed,"Nonsense. I have enough for at least a week."

_At least a week._ "Why hasn't Will gotten more for you?"

"Helena."

I shook my head. I had been down to the slums multiple times to buy his drugs. Never by myself though.

"I'll go tonight."

"Why?"

"_Jem. _What happens if you run out when you really need it? What if you have to go fight tomorrow-"

"Then, I'll..." he looked away.

"_**No.**_"

"Helena. Please, stop. I shall be fine. I'll send Will tomorrow."

"Fine." I sighed.

*tomorrow night*

I glanced at Jem in his peaceful sleep. I slowly got up and went to Wills room.

"Will."

He opened his door. The smell of sweat and alcohol invaded my nose. "Weeeeellll, hello." He slurred.

"Will. Jem is almost out of the drug."

He frowned. "How much is gone?"

I shook my head," A lot. He has enough for at least another week."

"Ah well," he leaned against the door way,"I shall go to tomorrow night."

"Jem said he would send you tonight."

"Well, I'm occupied and he's fine."

I scowled," _**William.**_"

"Helena. See I know your name also."

"I'll go myself."

"Suit yourself." He retreated back to his room.

I saw Sophie come down the hall.

"Sophie, will you please ask Cyril to prepare a carriage."

"Yes, Mrs. Carstairs."

"Please Sophie. Helena. "

She nodded, walking away.

I returned to my room and dressed myself in a light purple traveling gown. I gathered my money up in a small change purse and stepped toward the door.

"Lena? Where are you going?" Jem lightly mumbled from the bed.

"Just out, love. I'll be back soon." I answered walking into the hallway.

"Mrs. Helena, Cyril is outside with the carriage."

"Thank you, Sophie."

*hour later*

"Mrs. Carstairs, I can't get down these roads." Cyril called.

I peeked outside to see the sad sight of the slums,"Hm, go back and park Cyril. I'll be back quickly." I jumped out of the carriage and walked into the roads.

The dirty street were lined with filthy prostitutes and men and women. I quickly found the tavern and walked to the red door.

The warlock girl opened the door. "You are the pale ones lady _friend._"

I smiled, lightly. "Wife, actually these days."

"Ah, I see. Come to gather his necessities?"

"Yes, sadly."

"Where is the black haired horror?"

" 'Preoccupied.'"

"I see." She stepped aside, letting me inside the smoke filled tavern.

Several men grabbed at me, downworlders backed away as they eyed my marks.

I found the man with the _yin fen_.

He looked up,"Well hello," he smirked.

I dropped the large amount of money on the table.

He laughed,"What is this for?"

"What do you think?"

His eyes became solid and got up,"Follow me."

He handed me two medium sized bags of white powder. I slipped it into my bag and quickly left.

I felt a tight tug pull at my hair and pull me into an alley. I quickly took out my stele and slashed at the unknown figure. I got a quick look at the figure, a werewolf.

"What do you want?" I quickly yelled, grabbing a dagger.

"_The drugs._" He answered and quickly shoved toward me.

I slashed his face and he howled backward. I quickly ran out of the alley, but was cut off by a dark 'object' rising out of the ground.

"Shit," I mumbled and brought out another dagger from my corset.

The werewolf man grabbed me and slammed me into the bricks. I heard my head crack and I yelled out. I stabbed the man, cutting his finger off.

"You bitch." He attacked me, hitting me with his bloodied hand.

The object from before quickly hissed venom at the werewolf.

I took my chance and ran, only to be cornered by another demon. I cursed myself for not bringing more weapons. I kicked at the demons only to be knocked down and an automation to come into view.

"_Helena...Carstairs..."_ one of the demons hissed.

"You are the pale ones wife." The automation said, a knife came out of its arm.

I pressed my lips together,"W-what do you want?"

"You dead, in exchange for the dark one and his parabatai. This will be the message to them for the Magister."

Seconds later the werewolf attacked the automation and the demons slashed stabbing me.

The werewolf grabbed the yin fen the bag ripping causing white powder to burn the side of my face like acid.

I felt sharp knives enter my stomach as I passed out.

"Helena, can you hear us?"

I opened my eyes to Charlotte and brother Enoch. I glanced down at my bloody lavendar dress.

"Ch-Charlotte? What happened?"

_You were attacked. We found a dead werewolf and 2 dead demons where you were found. Another shadowhunter was in that area and brought you here. Do you know what you have been through?_

I shook my head, groggily. My mouth burned.

_The drug was spread on your face. You won't be trailed for dealing with downworlders for your current condition. We know the drug is what keeps James alive. _

"My...current condition...?"

_You were attacked._

"Where's Jem?" I asked, passing out.

I woke up again.

_You are okay._

Charlotte sat beside me," Helena. There's something you need to know."

I blinked,"What? Is it Jem?"

_No. Helena. You were 4 months pregnant...with a girl. You had miscarriage, between the drug and the demon poison._

I felt my heart contract and everything went black. I woke up in mine and Jems room. Charlotte in there. Jem wasn't there.

"Jem?"

"He's coming."

Suddenly, the door opened and Jem strided toward me.

"Helena? Lena?" He touched my face and I glanced up, my eyes half closed.

He touched the burn on my lips,"Helena...what happened?"

Charlotte started to fill him in as apparently I was too out of it.

"Jem... I went to the slums..."

His face fell,"Why?"

"I went to...to get more of your medicine...Will...he didn't go...he was,"I felt my mind slipping,"I got Cyril...to bring me. But he didn't go..the rest of the way."

"Helena." He fingered the burns. "By the Angel."

"I don't know what's happening Jem." I cried.

"You need to lay down." Charlotte interrupted,then leaving.

"Lay down, Lena, lay down...it helps."

"Jem." I felt tears run down my face, as he wrapped me in his arms.

He soothed me in my irrational state.

"I was pregnant, Jem." I whispered. "Brother Enoch. Said I was about 4 months...with a little girl." Sobs racked my body.

He was silent as he held me tighter, turning me toward him so I could sob into his shirt. Soon my sobs stopped and I just lay there.

He slowly got up and stood the middle of the bedroom. He kicked the side table, hitting it and sending it across the room. It landed in a pile of wood. The drawer opened and his medicine fell out on the floor. He glanced at it, then sank into a chair covering his eyes with his hands.

In the 5 years I've been here, I've never seen Jem so distraught.

The door opened and Will walked in, wide-eyed.

Jem glanced up," You're an unbelievable..."he shook his head.

Their voices were raised.

"_James _, she is not my responsibility. It was her _stupidity _that got her in this situation."

"Do not TALK about _my wife_...when it's a _parabatai's... _"

There were more coarse words exchanged.

"_Will _," his voice softened," she was pregnant."

Will silenced.

"We had... _no idea..._ Will. If _you _would've gone when she asked... she..._**we **_would've expected a baby... _Will, a baby girl, that's what Brother Enoch said. _Something..._**someone..**_ to carry on my name."

My vision blurred as I saw Jem cough and spatter blood on his coatsleeve.

Will jumped at him,"James, where is your medicine?!"

Jem shook his head,"There is none. It's gone."

I rolled out of the bed.

"Shit," Will muttered and placed him in the bed. "I'll be right back." he ran out.

"Jem? James?" I sat beside him. I layed his head in my lap.

"I love you, Helena. I just want you to know that. I think..."

I shook my head violently," Do not even..."

In minutes Charlotte and Will ran back into the room.

I sobbed as his body was racked with bloody coughs. I glanced around the room and saw his box on the floor. I slowly moved him and ran to the box and opening it. It still had a bit of powder in it. I ran back to Jem.

"Jem? Jem, open your mouth."

"Helena, stop...please."

"_**No Jem." **_I cried, " **YOU CANNOT DO THIS! Think of Will, think of **_**me, Jem. Please." **_I opened the box and scooped the powder out with my finger and placed it by his lips.

He hesitated and turned away.

"God Dammit, James." I screamed and grabbed his face placing the powder on his tongue.

"Helena. Get out." Will said, grabbing me and pulling me away.

I stayed in place,"_No. I am his __**wife."**_

"And I am his _parabatai_."

Charlotte looked at me," Come on, Helena."

Tears fell from my eyes and I started away.

"Lena." Jem whispered.

I turned and saw his hand held out.

I went back and pulled a chair to his side and grabbed his hand.

*next morning*

Jem had miraculously recovered, but that hadn't stopped the tears. Will had quickly left to buy more yin fen. By noon, Jem was well enough to get up. I stayed by him.

I saw my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red rimmed and glossy, my brown hair was desheveled to no repair, and there was a burn scar on the side of my mouth.

*month later*

Jem kissed my hand and broke me out of my reverie. I glanced up from my book.

"How are feeling?" I asked, looking into his eyes.

"Decent." He smiled.

The past month in the Institute had been a quiet one. None of us spoke of that night, every now and then I will see Jem looking at me sadly. We haven't addressed my miscarriage since that night, either. It was for the best, maybe.

He seemed to have read my mind,"Helena."He started.

"Jem, not...not now."

He blinked at me,"Lena...I think we should try...again."

"James." I started to get up.

He followed me, grabbing my hand, and pressing me softly against the wall.

"Last month was a nightmare. We _need _to make the most of it now."

I smiled and he kissed me lightly.

*4 months later."

I woke up and quickly sat up, nausea sweeping over me. I quickly crawled over Jem and grabbed a bucket from beside the fireplace, collapsing, and retching violently into it.

"Helena?" I heard Jem get up and sit beside me as I retched again. He held my hair back and rubbed my back.

My stomach settled and I wiped the tears from my eyes.

He slowly helped me up and sat me on the bed.

"I'll get Charlotte."

Brother Enoch came into the room. Jem stopped rubbing my back and stood up.

_James, would you stay outside the door for a moment?_

Jem looked at me with a worried look.

I sat up slowly,"I'll be fine."

He kissed my hand and left.

I took a deep breath as Brother Enoch examined me.

_Has there been any complications since your miscarriage?_

I shook my head. "Why?"

_You are pregnant, about four months. Everything seems fine, though. I would suggest taking it slowly. Your body went through one loss, it'll be ready to react if something goes bad._

Tears fell from my eyes and I brought my hand to my mouth as Brother Enoch took leave.

Jem came back in.

"What happened, Lena? What did he say?" He took my face in his hands.

"Jem." I looked at him.

He wiped my tears away,"Helena? What is the matter?"

I cracked a smile,"I'm pregnant."

He stared at me in shock

*8th months*

I laid on the bed trying to situate myself into a comfortable sleeping position. My belly proved to be an obstacle in doing this. It was close to the end of my eighth month of pregnancy and everybody in the Institute was on edge even more than I was.

I finally gave up and sat up to lean against the headboard. Jem walked in with a tired look with Church following close behind. Both him and Will had to go on a quick demon extermination mission an hour or two ago and Jem was very reluctant to leave me.

At the beginning of my pregnancy Brother Enoch had made it clear that any form of worrying would be bad for the baby. Of course, that caused me to worry more. One of my constant worries being Jems condition.

I pushed the thoughts from my head and glanced up to be greeted with a kiss from Jem.

"You couldn't sleep?" He asked.

I shook my head as Church jumped up on the bed,"Of course not."

He sighed and sat at the chair at the end of the bed, tugging off his boots.

"Come to bed, Jem. You look tired." I told him.

He shook his head.

"Is something the matter? Your medicine is-."

"Nothing is the matter. I'm fine. I'm just worried, Helena." He said standing up and sitting beside me on the bed. He picked up Church and set him aside. Church being around me so much lately also had Jem and Charlotte convinced that my due date was near.

I waited for him to continue to talk. Instead he looked at me and kissed my hand.

"Kissing my hand won't take away the fact that something is troubling you."

He sighed,"I love you. I'm...I'm...just worried about this child, Helena."

I looked down at my stomach as the baby kicked as if acknowledging that it was being talked about.

"There shouldn't be anything to worry about. Brother Enoch assured us that it will be healthy."

"It's not that. I just feel like that this baby won't get much time to spend with it's father."

I frowned and looked away. Jems condition had not gotten better or worsened since we had gotten married. The idea was still hard to think of, though.

"Don't say that James."I finally said."You have made it this far and I know you will make it to see our child grow."

He stayed silent, but leaned over to kiss my belly softly.

I yawned silently,"You know, James, we have not picked out baby names yet."

He looked up,"Oh. It must have slipped our minds somehow."

I smiled,"Well considering we didn't want to know if it was going to be a boy or girl."

He smiled back,"Will thinks it's going to be a boy. He placed a bet with Henry over it."

I laughed,"I'm not surprised."

"So what name if it is a boy?" He asked.

I sighed, looking around.

"Are you trying to find a piece of furniture to name our maybe son?"

"James." I said.

"What?"

"No, the baby. If it's a boy. James, after you."

"Oh, what about a middle name?"

I glanced around again. "William."

"William? After Will? Are you sure?"

"Why not? I thought you would like your parabatai's name being worked in."

"I do, if that is what you want." He agreed happily.

"And what if it's a girl?"I asked.

There was a silence.

"What was your mother's name?"I asked him, hoping it didn't bring much sadness.

"Mei."He answered.

"Hmmm...that's pretty."

He nodded.

I thought about my mother,"What about Mei Genevieve or Genevieve Mei?"

"I like Genevieve Mei."He answered.

I smiled,"Well we have names now."

"Indeed we do." He kissed me.

"You know, once the baby is born you can put it to sleep by playing Brahams Lullaby on your violin, since it doesn't work on me."

"True." He said, getting up to change into his night clothes.

I smiled once more, then tried to lay down again. Jem laid beside me, making me a bit more comfortable.

*December, Christmas party*

I wore a red party dress and clearly showed off my huge belly. Charlotte came in to check on me.

"Are you okay, Helena? You don't have to come out if you are not up to it."

"I'm fine, Charlotte." I said, rubbing my belly.

I walked out.

I danced once with Jem, then sat down to rest. He sat beside me. Looking at his face, he was truly happy.

Will danced around with Tessa and came up to us. Leaning on Jems shoulder.

"So Helena, do you two have any names picked out?"

"Yes, Will, _we _do actually. If it's a boy, which I truly think it is, James _William_ Carstairs."

He burst into laughter. "Talked her into slipping my name in there somewhere, eh?"

Jem grinned,"It was her idea, actually."

"And a girl?" Tessa asked.

"Mei Genevieve Carstairs." Jem answered, smiling.

"Our mothers' names." I added.

Seconds later, dinner was announced.

We all hoarded into the dining room. I sat by Jem.

"So, the happy couple across from us," Benedict Lightwood announced,"seems to be expecting two little bundles of love anyday now."

I smiled, sourly,"Yes."

"Curious combination, you two. Tell me, do you expect the children to have James' looks?"

I felt a sharp pain and clenched Jems hand.

"No,"Jem said quickly. "We are expecting _healthy _babies."

"Ah,"he took a sip of his wine,"well... that's good news."

Dinner was finished quickly and we returned to our room.

I gripped the back of a chair as a wave of pain washed over me.

"Helena? Are you okay? The baby...?"

"Fine," I slowly nodded. "I will be fine."

He placed his hand on my belly,"You are in the 9th month, Helena."

"I'm fine, Jem."

He looked at me skeptically, then continued changing.

I felt a crash of pain and warmth run down my leg.

"Jem...Jem?"

He ran to me,"What is it?"

"I think I'll take that back." I grabbed my belly and tried to sit down. "G-get Charlotte."

He nodded and ran out.

I held back a scream as waves of pain came and went. "Baby, you better be worth this." I said, crying.

Minutes later, Sophie, Charlotte, Will, and Jem came into the room.

Charlotte looked at me,"How often are the pains?"

"A-about every 5 minutes."

"By the Angel,"she whispered,"Sophie, go get warm towels."

Sophie quickly left and Will and Jem helped me to the bed.

Jem grabbed my face and kissed me,"We're having a baby."

I smiled at his happiness, but it was blocked by pain.

"Will, Jem, are you two staying?" Charlotte asked.

Jem glanced at Will from the bed side.

"I'm staying," said Jem.

"Will..." I started," I don't- ah...Christ!" I cried out.

Sophie came in with towels and Charlotte balanced herself at the end of the bed.

"Helena, this baby is coming fast. The next pain, I want you to push." Charlotte announced.

"Jem?" I asked around and he let me lean against him. Jem intertwined our hands.

Suddenly a bout of pain ripped itself through my body. I screamed and pushed as Charlotte said.

*10 minutes later*

I was in tears, Jem had Will hold my hands.

"Helena, a few more."

"No, Ch-Charlotte, I can't."

"You're doing wonderful,"Jem whispered kissing my head.

I pushed once more. And again. And again until I heard Charlotte gasp.

Sophie took the baby and quickly washed it off. Seconds passed and the baby let out a high pitched scream.

Jem sat and kissed me,"You did wonderful. Wonderful, Lena."

Charlotte came and wrapped the baby in a blanket and handed it to me.

"What is..." I checked inside the blanket and cried. "It's a boy, Jem." I sobbed noting the light brown tufts of hair and the slight upturn of its eyes.

"Jem? Take him, love." I handed the baby to Jem and watched him handle him with such delicacy.

*next day*

"James William Carstairs,"I said looking at the baby and then up at Jem, who hadn't left my side,"He has brown eyes, Jem." My green eyes met his silver, "My parents didn't have brown eyes." I watched as Jem smiled, kissing me again.

Of course, the entire institute visited the room. Including a few guests from the party last night.

"So," I heard Benedict Lightwood say, as he entered the room. "The child does have a few characteristics of its father."

I glanced at the baby and smiled,"Yes."

"And when do we expect it to go through _withdrawls._"

Jem frowned and took a deep breath," My _condition _is not inheritable, Benedict."

"Well isn't that a stroke of luck."

"Benedict, _**get out**_." I snarled at him as the baby started to cry.

He smirked and walked out to be greeted by Wills fist.

"Will?"Jem started."Not in here."

Jem took the child and sat in the chair beside me. The small figure quickly silenced his crying as Jem smiled at him, cooing.


	15. The End

"Mama! Wake up!" I shot up from my sleep to see JW grinning at me.

Jem sat up quickly,"What is wrong?"

JW jumped happily,"I found a hedgehog in the garden!"

I blinked at him as he held up a small spikey creature,"Oh...that's...lovely."

Jem chuckled,"Come here. Let me see him."

JW climbed onto the bed and handed Jem the hedgehog.

"I wouldn't let Church near it. He might eat him."Jem said as the animal squeaked.

"Church wouldn't do that."

"He might,"I mumbled.

Jem smiled at him and handed the hedgehog back,"Here. Go show uncle Will. I'm sure he'll love to see it."

There was a silence.

"I love you, Helena. You and JW. If I died today I could say my life with you has been wonderful with you in it."

I glanced at Jem and smiled slightly,"I love you too."


End file.
